straight ppl dont get to call us pillow biters and rug munchers and ass bandits and sodomites and faggot and d*** and every other disgusting name you can think of for a lesbian or gay person—for literal decades—and then try to call themselves tops and bottoms just cuz they like pegging like. im not doing it. im not allowing it
I think we need to talk about how dangerous softboy nerd sexual predators are. Every single time I’ve been creeped on or taken advantage of in college it wasn’t by a drunken jock fratboy. It was by a soft anxious nonthreatening nerd boy whose strategy was to get compassionate girls to feel sorry for him
Men who say they’re Rick’s when they’re all actually Jerry’s.
this is the first time i have seen this show referrenced to make i good point, and let me just say that it is about damn time
Go you want to birth an Eldridge horror? This is how you birth an Eldridge horror
I want to know how they decided that they hate life on earth
I mean, who doesn’t
The “jellyfish that have returned” are the offspring of the ones sent up; they “hate life on Earth” because they were born into a world without gravity - no direction, different kinds of pressure, so when they return they have trouble adapting and (according to the Read More in the source) “Jellyfish babies, at least, have to deal with massive vertigo on Earth after spending their first few days in space,” which you can tell because you can measure how disoriented a jellyfish is compared with norma behavior. TL;DR your cthulu is an infant with a migraine
business majors will do coke off your ass on saturday night and then pretend they don’t know you in your econ lecture on monday morning
fuck with a psych major then
psych majors will do lsd with you and tell you that they’ve never felt as connected to anyone as they do to you in that moment and then as soon as their trip ends they will spend the rest of your relationship disappointed because they know they’ll never feel as strongly about you sober as they did while on acid and when you take notice of that and comment that they seem to be growing distant they will psychoanalyze you and claim that you just think that because you have abandonment issues stemming from early childhood trauma
fuck with an art major then
art majors will nut on your back and hand you their paint rag to wipe it off with and then when you don’t return their calls the next day they’ll make a painting entitled Succubus. 2015 (oil and tears on canvas, 36" x 48")
Fuck with a film major
film majors will invite you over to “watch a movie and chill” and you’ll assume he means watch the first five minutes of something on netflix before getting distracted and banging but no. he has a french new wave film set up for the two of you to actually watch and you don’t understand french but he refuses to put on subtitles because he feels it undermines the artistic integrity of the work. when the movie is over he’ll undress you but not to have sex, just to “admire” your body. also he inexplicably smells like cigarettes even though he doesn’t smoke
i am so sorry for your unfortunate mishaps with multiple major fields
